Half a real post

I'm not in the mood to look up the lyrics that I was referring to a couple of posts ago. Just know for now that they have to do with life and relationships. Maybe tomorrow.

But I realized that there was a certain type of guy that I was attracted to when I was in high school. They typically have three characteristics in common: 1. They are taller than me, even if just by centimeters. 2. They have dark hair (with two exceptions). 3. They are/were involved with choir and/or theater before/during/after the crush developed.

I've had crushes on six guys. Most if not all probably knew. I always picked not knowing over knowing how they felt. There was always someone wanting my permission to ask them how they felt. My answer was always no.

Usually while I had the crush, I also didn't want to pursue a relationship with them or anyone else. I wanted to finish high school, get myself straightened out, finish college, get a job, get settled. So what would be the technical term for that? Wanting to be with someone, yet that being the last thing on my mind? I don't want to be alone forever, just right now. I know that it will happen when it will happen. The question is will I be willing to let it happen when it's time?

Well, I should go to bed. 6:30 is gooing to come sooner than I want it to.